Why Doesn't God Run eHarmony?!?

As I sit here all alone watching old DVDs of Babylon 5, I remembered one of my oldest grudges against God when I was a Christian: Why didn't God give me a girlfriend?

I mean, there's so many things God could have done to make it frickin' obvious what to do:

• He could have put little marks on our heads that matched us up to our intended mate.
• He could have had our intended mates created for us ex nihilo the second we were born.
• He could have started some sort of matchmaking service (I mean, for crying out loud, if Dobson's sycophant whathisname -- I forget -- can create something like eHarmony.com, it's not like it's beyond an omnipotent, omniscient, etc. God to do it too!)

Any one of these options would have been a hell of a lot easier than what I would have to do otherwise to get a girlfriend: Behave in a civil manner; dress nicely; keep reasonably fit; buy candy and flowers and candles or whatever, etc. Why the hell do I need to do all that to get a little action, anyway?

God sucks. So does Holding, by the way. That idiot has been married for 17 years now and he makes me sick.