Feb 19, 2009

Sister Blogs!

Our funds and blog revenue is so incredibly low that it's taken us almost an entire year to raise enough money to put up two other new sites to add to our communications network. So, it is with great honor and pride that I now formally introduce our two new sister blogs, which serve their own additional functions and will work in conjuction with our original blog as well: Debunking Cretinism and Debunking Righteousness.

These sites are now available for open public access to the top-right handed side of your computer screen. These sites will further our cause and hopefully get more people convinced in just how stupid their primitive superstitions REALLY are. You won't be seeing much on these sites at first (althought DR currently has its first post up for reading), as I am still under strict 'computer-use' probation while I'm stuck here in this crummy mental institution. Apparently they threw me in for temporary evaluation because I went off my "mental radar" and started randomly flashing my body's nudity for my entire neighborhood to see. It is also reported that I kept a band of one's neighbor's newborn pups in one of my garbage cans, in which I was reserving their plump juicy bodies for fixing homemade meals for my houseguests. Aside from the alledged "flashing" the puppy's owners seems to be extremely upset with me, and, upon my release from this institution, I have been advised by my lawyers to settle for a distancing contract, and I may also be forced into providing steel reinforcement on my household's perimeter (this, of course, is coming out of my paycheck....).

Feb 17, 2009

TERRORISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO NEED TO PANIC EVERYONE, BUT I'M HAVING A MELTDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(The above picture is dedicated to Allah's one and only profit, Osama Bin Laden. Peace be upon him....)

As mentioned before, no need to panic. But as of now, I am officially putting the site on "Arab Alert." Never heard of it? It's basically a racist type of thing where I start going around banning any Muslim commentators from my blog, including Christians (that's because if it weren't for Christianity we wouldn't be having Islam RIGHT NOW).

Let me tell you something, you twisted sicko bastard commies: Come comment on my site, and I'll have you reported to Blogger. Simple as that. If you don't like it, TOO BAD! Personally it's of no consequence to me if you blow yourselves up for 72 virgins and start murdering abortion surgeons. It doesn't phase me at all, as long as you leave me the hell alone.

I know some of what you might have read above sounds a bit psychotic. That's because it is, and I don't give a damn what you "sane" people have to say. In fact, I am so without emotions I mine as well be a Muslim fundamentalist who blows up everything on site for the sake of Jihad. True, I don't know a whole lot about Islam, because as a philosopher and a former Christian, I don't care much for any religion besides Christianity. Christianity is the ROOT OF ALL EVIL, as we have come to discover, and we hope our readers are discovering this, too....

Lately I've accused myself of fraudulence and identity theft. Ain't that something? I think someone is literally trying to kill me. Why am I wasting my time typing everything out here? That's because I don't have anything better to do! Don't you know we are in an economic recession at the moment? ? Jeeze you people are subconcious. Sheesh.

Someone is trying to impersonate me and take away everything that I've given myself. I suspect that the person responsible for this is me. Oh, and my blow-up inflatable love-making doll, whom I've given the nickname "Mrs. Spankingworth" in honor of my favorite pancake syrup brand, Mrs. Butterworth.

Speaking of unsupported claims, let's talk about evidence, shall we? To start off, it's without a doubt that I know that I'm the perpetrator behind all of this vitrolic insanity. I've been enjoying posting pornographic images on this site (and whacking off to everything I sees), oh, and blaming other people who had absolutely nothing to do with these things on them, all because I can! It's the internet, I should be able to get away with falsely accusing others of site abuse and illegal behaviors, even though I'm the one responsible for it ALL! And I know just who to blame, too! OOOOH! Let's start with Frank Walton, because's he stupid and scientifically ignorant, and because he's a Christian. You damn religionists, you're all the same! Soon you will be exposed for the lying hypocrites that you are! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I probably voted for him but who wants to guess why we have Barack Obama as our new president? Any takers? It couldn't be that he's a religious person and 95% of this country are made up of religious people, is it? You all voted for a terrorist. And now you're going to get it. Expect all sorts of things to blow up. And I'm going to blow up too, to show the world that I'M ANGRY AND I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I know what all of you Christians will do once you see this message. You will report it to the government and then we'll have the Saudis and Bin Laden's running Blogger.com. Then you'll be happy. Oh yes...you'll all be VERY happy. Won't you?

I won't stand for it. Neither you, nor Barack Hussein "Osama" Obama, are bringing me down! Just for the sake of my own personal gratification, I'm going to report all of my blog's dissenters to Blogger (which will soon fall under ownership of Saudi Arabia thanks to the terrorist in the White House) and let you know that I stand in the right. MY PLANSARE FOOLPROOF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!!!!!

- John W. Locust (Currently under direct computer-use supervision on behalf of Pinewood Trees Mental Institution for the psychologically imbalanced, paranoid, and delusional). NOTE: Social security numbers, home addresses, phone numbers, and credit card numbers have all been wiped out from John's official text document, in order to protect the best interests of John's personal acqaintances. We sincerely apologize if we mispelled that fancy word which means "friends" but we are not really interested in your grammar pickiness so please go screw yourself.

Feb 14, 2009

Christians exposed as filthy fascists

Christians are filthy fascists that say people can't have bum sex and gays can't get married .
A student here was exposed in his speech which was filled with the most hateful vile speech ever spoken in the classroom.

The
lawsuit says that a student at the college, Jonathan Lopez, was giving an in-class presentation last November that involved “reading the dictionary definition of marriage and reciting two Bible verses” when he was interrupted by his professor.

How dare he talk about the definitions of words and read that odious document. It is clear that Christians want to impose their fascist definitions on everyone else. The professor responded appropriately.

The professor, John Matteson, insulted the student and later refused to give him a grade, the suit says, instead writing on an evaluation that Mr. Lopez should “ask God what your grade is.”

Feb 11, 2009