My Crappy New Year!

As I write this, there are a few hours left on this Monday, New Year’s Eve, 2007, and I’m half asleep in a puddle of my own mouth froth. Holding makes me mad. Real mad. He makes me mad every time I hear or read his name. It makes me mad when one of his fanatics leaves a comment on my blog. It makes me furious when a football game is on and the referee throws a flag down and says it is for “holding.”

Holding sucks.

I’m so mad I have decided to do a “Year in Review” about all the things I hate about Holding. I wanted to take some time to go over all the stuff I’ve written about that weaselly spin-doctor Holding because maybe it’ll make me feel better. I especially feel better fantasizing about him having all kinds of flaws that I can dream up.

Holding sucks.

Holding sucks.

John Loftus is GOD.

Ingrates

Hey, whaddya know. After kissing up to enough professors, I have finally graduated. I successfully completed my “Ethics” course (thanks to help from John Loftus, my super-duper “ethics” expert, who did most of my papers for me) and got an incredible 750 points out of 770, including 737 kiss-up points for staying after class cleaning blackboards and stuff. Holding sucks. I hope to receive my actual diploma by the end of January as soon as Kinko’s gets done with the forgery job (I got the idea from my good dear friend John Loftus' Holding blog). I can’t enroll into graduate school just yet – not until the investigation is finished and I’ve outwitted the campus police. I have to serve some time in the county jail and get some counseling for my JP Holding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but I’m sure John Loftus will save me. Holding sucks.

December’s Pissts

This month, I contributed two posts. One was on the Trilemma argument and was filled with arguments Holding (sucks) answered in some other articles of his I never read, and another is on a discrepancy that he attempted to resolve regarding Jeremiah 7:22 which was also full of arguments Holding (sucks) answered in some other articles of his I never read. In doing research for this piece, I was again, fascinated by the work that biblical scholars like Frank Moore Cross have done and it kindles a determination in me, more than ever, to become functionally literate so I can actually read Holding’s (suck’s) work and know what I am talking about.

I was also delighted by feedback for one post, from the one person that actually read my posts and wasn’t advertising his own site for a UFO rapture. Holding sucks, and so do William Lane Craig and Gary Habermas. It is obvious that this one guy who is just a blogger must know his scholarship better than they do. I couldn’t possibly be mistaken about that.

For the New Sneer!

For this upcoming year, I plan to submit an blog entry about one of Holding’s favorite scientists and personal friends, Jonathan Sarfati. He sucks too. They all suck. And they’re all liars. I am also considering putting up another article on Holding’s dishonesty and I am currently researching instances where it is claimed that Holding outright lied. I'm also looking for evidence that he robbed old ladies and beat up babies, and I'm also going through his old receipts that he shredded, piecing them back together with duct tape. I don’t have JP Holding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, do I? Holding sucks.

5 Sneers Ago!

Five years ago, I was a trembling lunatic fundy creepy Christian. I believed that God was a snotty 1984 Orwell machine who planned your life out in great detail, where every "t" was crossed and every "i" was dotted and that even He watched you go to the bathroom to make sure you weren’t sinning in there. Obviously this is what all Christians believe so they are also all trembling lunatic fundy creeps. God sucks. Holding sucks too. I recall the frustration and fright of having to constantly monitor my thoughts and feelings, careful not to say anything even slightly disrespectful or do anything even remotely less than holy and perfect. Obviously I couldn’t have been wrong about this, so obviously many of Holding’s (suck’s) fans are this way right now.

I used to like Holding’s work but I still hated God for watching me in the bathroom and stuff all the time. I also hated God for not treating me special. I recall one point where I asked God if it was really necessary that I do a systematic study of the Bible and go through both the articles of Holding and Till. Couldn’t God just reveal himself to me in an audio-visual fashion as he had done so with doubting Thomas and St. Paul on the road to Damascus? Why the hell not? I’m special just like they were. I deserve special treatment. God owes me. He also owed me a girlfriend. He never got me one. Why the hell not? Why didn’t God offer a dating service? Why did I have to go through all the work of making myself look nice, socializing, being courteous and kind to a girl (without her refusing to put up with my temper tantrums), and spending lots of my own hard-earned money on dates? Why couldn’t God save me some money by hypnotizing the owners of Steak and Shake into giving out free meals? It’s not fair. God sucks. Holding sucks too.

What began to change and wound up changing the course of my life was going visiting the website “Exposed" Faithweb which was by some furniture dealer. All it took was one single quote by Richard Carrier to prove that nothing Holding (sucks) wrote could possibly be true. Carrier said that he didn’t see any need to reply to Holding because he found Holding childish and disrespectful. He said he wouldn’t reply to Holding unless someone paid him. That shot right through me because I actually believed it was true, and what I actually believe is true obviously is. I had wondered why Carrier never responded to Holding. Now I knew: It was because he was holding out for a paycheck to do so!

I also printed out lengthy articles containing the land debate between Farrell Till and Holding and I noticed how adolescent Holding behaved in the debate. Till seemed very professional the way he repeated the same arguments over and over again. Till was always professional in his debates with Holding (sucks). For example, when he said things like:

The important thing would be his commission, because I have noticed that he has been stuck on 81 for several weeks in his plea for suckers who will contribute $70 to $80 per year so that his "ministry" can become full-time.

I had never seen [Holding] tell his readers that when he tells them that the Hebrew or Greek word in such and such a text was whatever, he was telling them no more than they could find themselves by flipping through Strong's concordance. He didn't have to say directly, "I am an expert in Hebrew," to leave with his readers the impression that he was. His constant references to what the Hebrew or Greek words were in whatever texts were being discussed was designed to leave with his readers that he did have an expertise in biblical languages, because he didn't bother to tell them that he was just browsing through a concordance.

I always suspected that [Holding] doesn't really read my replies. When I come to where I did address this issue, I'll point it out to him. Anyway, I have a lot more material on this issue. A competent debater will always keep something back to give his opponent plenty of opportunity to hang himself.

What is beyond dispute is that these ancient people believed that the land belonged to the gods, but ancient people believed a lot of things that were ridiculous.

Was this "new research" as insightful as [Holding] claims, or was it simply an attempt by "scholars" with fundamentalist leanings to find a way to explain a problem in the biblical text?

I think it is very clear that Till is a consummate professional at something, though I don’t know exactly what right now.

It was at this time that I read one article that was written in the Skeptical Review which argued that Christ could not be God because God could not be tempted and yet in the gospels, Christ was clearly tempted. One article by Till was obviously superior to dozens of commentaries by people who actually knew the language and culture of the day, and that was more than enough for me to make a decision. Obviously, when the Bible says God cannot be tempted, it means, any person who walks up to God (as the devil walked up to Christ) and says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you chew this gum I found on the sidewalk,” proves that God can be tempted! Holding sucks! I went through Till’s articles on other subjects, making sure I didn’t look for any responses by Holding (sucks) or anyone else, and even making sure I mistook one of Holding’s articles that Till responded to for being Holding’s response to Till. I made absolutely sure I came to the conclusion I wanted, which was that Christianity wasn’t true, because I was sick of that pervert bathroom-watching God not giving me a girlfriend and not giving me special revelations like I deserved. As a bonus, I could tell these arrogant blowhards to piss off, and that was lots of fun!

Now, I have happily bought the friendship of a number of atheists like Farrell Till, and Steven Carr who will rain kisses all over my posterior because I write answers to Holding (sucks).

The fact of the matter is that the more I read from Holding (sucks), the more troubled and disturbing his writings got for me. What I refer to here are not arguments I was frustrated by because I couldn’t answer them. I didn’t understand them well enough for that to be the problem. What I found frustrating was that he was enjoying himself while making sport of people whose friendship I was trying to buy. It wasn’t until a very dear sweet kissy-wissy close friend of mine, John W Loftus finally challenged me, that I saw the light. He challenged me to be more honest with myself the way he was so honest. I am delighted I took the challenge! Loftus has proven to be a good, lovable, sweet, dear friend and I much prefer to be friends with him then Holding (sucks). At least I don’t have to worry about Loftus the way I did Holding (sucks) – with Holding (sucks), I never knew if he was lying or incompetent. With Loftus, things are much easier because “lying” is the obvious choice and saves me having to think about it!

People might ask me-do I hate Holding (sucks)? Well, yes. That was simple. If there was one thing I especially hated about him is that he has a hard time taking just shutting up and accepting criticism without questioning whether it is valid or asking whether the person making the criticism was not being hypocritical. I mean, he needed to just shut up and say he was wrong! It’s self-righteous to not just give in to criticism, and I hate people who do that because they obviously think they’re so perfect that no one is allowed to criticize them! It’s sheer arrogance and it’s sickening, because when they respond to someone like me who criticizes them, they’re implying that I’m wrong! And how dare anyone say I’m wrong!

Crappy New Years!

Happy New Years everyone! As for me, I am thinking of logging off for tonight and beating up my Holding (sucks) voodoo doll, then sticking pins in it and throwing it off the top of a skyscraper. Good night all!