Don't I Sound Cockamamie To You?

My pal John Locust composed this awesome bit of free verse I wanna share with you! Woo hoo!

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I say I reject all Gods.
They say one God exists.

I ask, which God?
They say the Biblical God.

I say there are several Gods represented in the Bible.
They instruct me on the nature of Jewish monolatry and explain that “elohim” does not mean “gods” in the modern sense.

I say what the hell is that all about?
They explain it to me. Several times. I never get it.

I say I’m sincere in my skepticism.
They ask about that fake Holding blog.

I get mad and call them idiots.
They laugh and say I’m hopeless.

I get mad and leave and say I’m never coming back.
I return ten minutes later.

Two worldviews locked in struggle, one with plenty of evidence, the other shot through with ignorance and emotional diatribes.

If I lie enough, I can get the real weak people to change their minds, so the effort is worth it.

Tell ya what, quit botherin’ me. I’d be happy to be left alone.

Christians, can we all agree that Islam, Judaism, and the various branches of them are delusionary, along with all of the dead religions and the other ones presently adhered to around the globe?

Okay so far?

Upon what basis do you reject those other religions?

You...studied them and their truth claims and found out they were false?

Oh.

Um...

Huh.

What’s that?

Yes, I say that where the existence of all of these religions make any affirmative religious claim less probable. So?

What do you mean “atheism involves affirmative religious claims”?

It does not!

Hey, kiss off! Atheists don’t affirm anything!

What do you mean that’s a semantic trick?

Are you calling me a liar?

I’ve done it before? What kind of answer is that?

Idiot.

I don’t care what you think.

Christian, do you realize how cockamamie your set of beliefs is and how large of a claim it is to believe all the things you do?

Huh? What do you mean you never ran into any problems you couldn’t solve?

Baloney! I ran into a lot of problems! You must have messed up.

No, I won’t debate you. That’s all minutiae.

Stupid hyenas.

Here’s a comparison. Learn what the Mormons believe. Talk to them. Read up on it. See how they defend it.

You...did?

There’s no comparison to serious Christian apologetics?

But wait. When you as an outsider try to examine the evidence for their set of beliefs don’t you just shake you head in utter amazement that anyone could ever believe it?

You do?

And you do it when you look as an outsider at MY beliefs too?

Uh....

Idiot.