I don't know how many of you are familiar with
TheologyWeb.com, but it's a web forum where some well-meaning Christians have been foolish enough to open the doors to us atheists to say whatever we want almost without restriction (the forum is very lightly moderated), and I can't imagine just how much damage they've allowed to the Christian faith by letting us wolves loose in their henhouse so to speak. For example, just today I came across
this brilliant and devastating argument from a fellow by the name of Add Homonym:
[Suppose] I'm living in an imaginary Planet of the Apes future where the first bunch of chimps has been taught to read, and one of them has just read parts of the Bible, and discovered that humans go to hell if they are bad.
He passes this on to his chimp friends as a joke, and they read up on some doctrine, and realise that chimps are born without sin because their ancestor didn't eat an apple.
One of the more serious chimps realises that the Bible cannot be taken all that seriously in Genesis because evolution is obviously a fact, and humans are closely related to chimps, so hell would likely apply to chimps just as well.
Because of this, they are now concerned that they will go to hell as well as humans, so the chimps want to go forth on a mission to convert all the other animals and plants.
However, a human Christian knows that apes were not created in God's image, so they cannot possibly be responsible for their actions, have a soul, or go to hell. How does he convince them that there is no hell for chimps?
When one desperate Christian pointed out that what Mr. Add Homonym describes aren't actually "
chimps", Add Homonym returned with this volley that was so devastating that it probably had Christians on
other forums running for cover!
Well, that's interesting: with a few breeding selections a chimp becomes a non-chimp. Why can't we make non-humans with a few selections, and spare them from hell? Maybe humans, since the writing of Genesis have already evolved to be non-humans, and the Bible is not applicable to us.
Christians, don't mess with us if you value your delusions. And I'm dead serious.
27 comments:
I think this poor Atheist missed by a wide mile. The real deal is more like an alien in a flying saucer lands in Washington D.C. and gets invited to lunch with George Bush. During lunch the alien asks Mr. Bush if he believes in God? “Of course I do” he says, “Do you” asks Mr. Bush. “You bet” says the alien, “I pray every day because we made in the image of God”…
I think this poor Atheist missed by a wide mile.
On the contrary, this is exactly the kind of inspired atheistic arguments this blog was created to highlight. And your own contributions, good sir, are doing their part to help us achieve our goals!
People need to know that this is all fake. I e-mailed jpholding some very intelligent arguments and he simply gave me a screwball award and made fun of me. He actually runs this blog to poke fun at people who are more intelligent than him just like he does screwball awards. Ignore everything in this blog.
To Brookes:
I do what I can, where I can. You have to admit though, he does have a point. Since mankind can create chimeras, half-man half-chimps for example, bred to deliver donuts and coffee to morning meetings, would they being half human have a soul, or would only naturally created people made in the bedrooms and the backseats of cars be fully human? Does a test-tube baby have a soul? Has that really been looked into thoroughly? I hear that they tend to die young and have diseases so maybe that’s because they have only partial souls or no souls at all!! That's all interesting stuff to think about.
I think the world could benefit from having sub-sub-humans, the sub-humans being here already of course in the form of Christians. Just think of all the dangerous work they could do for us and when they die we could eat them or push them into mass graves just like the Nazis did with the Jews! Since they have no soul there'd be no need to grave markers or prayers. The future is going to be so cool once we get all these namby-pamby Christian ethics out of the way...
To Graeme:
There's simply no way that a Christian would do such a thing!!! It goes against the Teachings of Yeshua, to live and do as he taught, and bearing false witness by pretending to be someone else, even on the Internet, would be breaking the 9th Commandment. No Christian would do such a thing because Jesus will not accept Lairs, Deceivers, or Hypocrites into the Kingdom of Heaven. I don’t believe you and I think you might be a very sick person who needs to seek psychological counseling…
If there are any Christians here pretending to be Atheists, then you bet they are. Boy I sure wouldn’t want to be in their shoes when Jesus gets out his big stick of Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire because somebody isn’t going to be sitting down much after that Eternal Spanking. Ouch!!! He’d be pissed about what they’d done in His name, making a mockery out of the faith that tried to carry on His ministry and tell all of humanity about His Ultimate Sacrifice. That has got to be the express elevator to Hell all right.
You might enjoy my new blog, http://spidermanno6.blogspot.com...
"If there are any Christians here pretending to be Atheists, then you bet they are. "
You don't even make sense - i tried rationally debating with Christians and all i got back was nonsense and insults as you've demonstrated. Anyone coming to this blog will see how dishonest you all are and how you run away from intelligent discussion by making fake blogs and doing screwball awards
Yeah Graeme, I was appalled that you got ridiculed over at Theologyweb. I mean, with your super-intelligent "Peter thought aliens existed" and "Jesus fed people with fish, therefore Xianity is based on astrology" arguments were top notch! How could anyone possibly fail to see that?
At least someone recognises that all they do over at theologyweb is be rude. If they had been willing to rationally listen to my arguments I'd have also pointed out that Luke22:10 is referring to Aquarius but what's the point in wasting good arguments on such idiots.
Yeah Graeme, I was appalled that you got ridiculed over at Theologyweb. I mean, with your super-intelligent "Peter thought aliens existed" and "Jesus fed people with fish, therefore Xianity is based on astrology" arguments were top notch! How could anyone possibly fail to see that?
So this is the Graeme Jones and not some lame pretender who has graced us with his presence? I am both honored and humbled that such an esteemed intellect would visit our humble corner of the web!
Perhaps the witty and intelligent arguments you mentioned would make an excellent entry here at Debunking Crap.
If you want to do a serious article then it would be unfair to credit me with the fish and aquarius arguments - as they came from Zeitgeist the movie. By the way, this actual blog is a fake and so whilst it's good to see some atheists commenting on here I need to warn you to only take the atehsist comments on here seriously.
Hey Graeme,
If you're ever finished being a coward, feel free to come back to TheologyWeb and prove us wrong, alright? Or, for that matter, go after anyone who went to look for you at the Richard Dawkins Forum. Or, if neither of those suits you, swing by my blog and drop me a line.
Face it, after slurping poisoned milk from the Zeitgeist teat, it's little wonder you turned out a bit intellectually malnourished.
--JB, demolisher of atheist fools
If you want to do a serious article then it would be unfair to credit me with the fish and aquarius arguments - as they came from Zeitgeist the movie.
Oh, wow! The Zeitgeist movie?! Now I know your arguments are unassailable! The accuracy of Zeitgeist is second only to the esteemed works of filmmaker Michael Moore!
By the way, this actual blog is a fake and so whilst it's good to see some atheists commenting on here I need to warn you to only take the atehsist comments on here seriously.
There is wisdom in your words, but it's a little hard sometimes to tell which is which.
There are Christians Here!!! Yikes. That's not what I signed up for...
Boo! Who is this JB impostor? Get out of here! This blog is for intelligent people only!
Graeme, your commentary is permitted here only on the grounds that you have something substaintiated and intelligent to say. Saying that we are all undercover Christians is not only highly inaccurate but misrepresenative of our atheist activism. Now go get a life, idiot. Sheesh.
I have to say though, that pretending to be an atheist and saying stupid things would be pretty clever. If I had to destroy Christianity and I wanted to do it faster than the Christians are already doing it themselves, I’d pretend to be a Christian and tell people how much I love them when I told them they were going to Burn in Hell for all Eternity. I'd quote the Bible a lot, and people who think that God made the world in six days.
Between that and calling what most people do every day sin, I'd make a bunch of enemies out of people who might have accepted Jesus if they hadn't met me. That's pretty damn clever I must say. I wish I’d thought of it…
(Just one edit - I keep leaving out words for some reason. I wish I had Godcheck turned on ;-)
I think this poor Atheist missed by a wide mile. The real deal is more like an alien in a flying saucer lands in Washington D.C. and gets invited to lunch with George Bush. During lunch the alien asks Mr. Bush if he believes in God? “Of course I do” he says, “Do you” asks Mr. Bush. “You bet” says the alien, “I pray every day because we are made in the image of God”…
Why would Christians invent a parody blog when they could just pop over to my own blog and see the real thing?
Exactly:
1) Nobody would make a parody which is less stupid than the thing they're parodying
2)I could name a number of genuine atheist blogs which are more stupid thn this one
3) Therefore this blog must be genuine
For the record, this blog entry is absolutely not a parody. You can follow the links in my first paragraph for yourself and see that what I presented is a real argument proposed by a genuine atheist.
Dear Brookse,
If you are not an atheist, and you are obviously not a Christian, then you must be an agnostic. Please, when you have a minute, explain to me your position in the existence of God...
Joe E. Drollman said...
Boo! Who is this JB impostor? Get out of here! This blog is for intelligent people only!
Have no fear fellow freethinker, I have taken the liberty to call the exterminator. He'll be here in half an hour with the strongest rat poison he can find.
I don't even know where to begin with this story. God created all animals but only humans have a soul and that soul will go to heaven or hell when we die. Both places exist and I don't want to go to eternity separated from God because I chose to reject Jesus. That's what's going to happen to all of you if you continue to mock the Bible and praise Satan and I pity you all. You're playing games with the most important aspect of your life which is eternity.
More of that Christian Love I see?
Eternity is the most important part of the Afterlife. While you're here it couldn't matter a damn.
The Bible, btw the way, is a BOOK written by men. God writes upon the human heart and you should have an easy time noticing that those whose hearts have been written don't spend much, if any, time trying to say that the mocking of a BOOK matters a damn either. God is God. His words can be seen in the actions of men but rarely on the ink-filled paper they use to write them down.
If it wasn’t already your habit, and I told you to seek the most Powerful, Amazing Being the universe has ever known, and will ever experience, by reading a book, wouldn’t you think that I was nuts? I sure would and He probably does as well.
I seek the All-powerful! See page 22. Right, that makes perfect sense. You betcha…
The Bible was written by man but was God-breathed which means God spoke to the men that wrote the Bible. The Bible was written by 40 different authors over a 1600 year period. It covered 3 continents and was written in 3 different languages. All other religions were written by one author and can't be proven historically. Only the Bible can be proven historically.
The most important person in your Bible is Jesus, who was God according to your faith. Don't you find it odd that he never wrote a word? Why would God dictate something when we walked the earth and could have written it himself? Why would he wait 40 years to dictate the sections about himself that we call the Gospels?
Your understanding of both the Bible and other faiths is simply a misunderstanding. We don’t even know who wrote the Gospels because their names weren’t important, just the name of the man they wrote about. His name, when he walked the earth, was Yeshua not Jesus.
Don’t base your faith on the Bible being a perfect or literal book. Your faith won’t last long because that is anything but the truth. The people who wrote the Bible knew how it should be read but I suspect that you don't have a clue. That’s a shame because it is quite a piece of work and has some very wonderful things to say about the beings we call man…
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