Valentine's Day and the obvious fall of Christianity

Since Valentine's Day is a couple days away*, I thought I would write a post about it.
The hint is in the name. You will notice that nobody calls it St. Valentine's Day anymore. The reason for this should be obvious: Christianity plays less and less of a role in the life of a most secular modern day citizen's life. Calling someone "Saint" is a relic of the past. We no longer have kings or lords in any modern nation because every king in history has been a scum sucking fiend. Like kings, saints were praised for doing what most of us would only sneer at.

Let's take sex, for example. A good Christian is expected to avoid sex like a plague, and remove his genitals if he gets the tiniest strike of horny. This is an obvious disaster because, like we all know, if you don't have sex at least five times a day with a random woman/man/crossgender/free spirit/small animal/blunt object/piece of pastry, several tonnes of hormones will fill up your blood vessels and you'll end up exploding faster than it took Jesus to reach escape velocity. Furthermore, sex has a number of other benefits:
1. It makes you feel good.
2. It increases your resistance to STDs. Chrisanoids like to spead irrational, borderline retarded rumors like "virgins are far more unlikely to catch an STD". This type of thinking is obviously stupid becuase if you're not exposed to STDs you will catch them much easier. Merely being in the same building with an AIDS infested individual will reduce a virgin to a puddle of ooze
3. It makes you feel good.
4. It puts food on an abortionist's table.
5. It makes you feel good.
6. It makes you feel good.

Another example in which an ideal Christian life clashes with reality is the so-called notion of "feeding the poor". Why do the poor need to be fed? I had a cow and I never fed it, I just left it in my back yard to eat grass. Why can't the poor eat grass? Some Christofascist ended up shooting my cow. He claimed he didn't shoot it and that the cow got into his yard through a "hole" in the fence that I was supposed to cover up (as if it's my fault I dived through it headfirst when my homemade brewing machine blew up) and fell down a well, as if cows can teleport through barbed wire. If Christians ruled the world, they would probably lure poor people into their yards with nice heaps of grass then gun them down like pigs. I saw a bunch of little hellraising Jesusspawns approach a homeless person the other day when I drew my one of a kind Sam Harris engraved cavalry saber and chased them two whole city blocks. They claimed they just wanted to give the old man something to eat but I'm willing to bet my mail order doctorate they laced it with cyanide. I then returned to the homeless person with a large truck and dumped four tonnes of freshly picked grass on his head. Now he has shelter for the winter and if he gets hungry he can just grab some of it and eat. The look of happiness on his face warmed my kind, generous atheist heart.

At any rate remember, this Valentine's day, if some Christian says "Happy Valentine's Day", make sure to shout out loud "That's right *****, VALENTINE'S DAY" with emphasis on the lack of the word "Saint".

*I use a modern day Secular Humanist calendar, you religionists can take your pagan piece of crap nobody else uses and shove it in your butt.