Hi, I'm Andy AtkinsDiet (a handle I chose remembrance of Anna Nicole Smith, may she rest in peace), but my real name is Herman. The picture you see is me with my family.
John Locust wants me to bore you to tears with how I went from stupid Christian to super-smart atheist, so I will.
I'm way smarter than you, so this might go over your tiny, underdeveloped mind a bit.
I was a stupid Christian for a number of years. After swallowing that God crap when I was like 6, I became a fundy Christian. I was like this for years and years, only reading the Authorized KJV, not giving a damn about using my brain, and all the rest of the things a Real True Christian(TM) does.
Then, some years later, I realized that not using my brain was a bad thing, so I went back to my Bible. I read one verse out of it, thought about it for 5 minutes, and decided that I was never really a Christian in the first place. I had bought into the crackpot idea that the Bible was written yesterday, for me personally. So I quickly rid myself of those beliefs, and now I'm a smart, smart dude.
Why, now, I even realize that the Bible was written thousands of years ago, but we should still judge it by today's standards, because by golly ours are better than theirs!
There's my story of how I went from fundy Christian, to obviously brilliant atheist.
Have a nice, sky-daddy free day.
Herman
1 comment:
Hey Herman, welcome back to the Real World once more. I was once a nasty, Holy-Babble-Spewing god-botherer, and I tell you, it takes time to get that junk out of your soul (oops, my bad... I meant 'brain synapses').
Like you, I had the tell-tale symptoms of god-belief syndrome: flat head, greenish-gray skin, a pair of neck piercings that looked like bolts, and a fetish for big clunky boots.
After some extensive sessions with an atheist de-programmer, my skin went from greenish-grey to an internet addict's pasty white, and my head stretched out to a nice conical shape. I got rid of the neck bolt ornaments and covered the scars with a couple of tattoos: one says "BITE" and the other says "ME".
I gave my clunky boots to some homeless bum at the Salvation Army and bought myself a nice pair of Birkenstocks. You should smell my feet now!
You have no idea how good it is to be back in real life, uttering 4-letter words at the idjit believers and posting links on Christian blogs that reveal the truth about how their savior was really just an invention of some Roman guy named Calvin Pizza, or something like that.
Thanks for this wonderful blog. May it be seen by all the world!
P.S.: Could you hook me up with your cute blonde sister?
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