Dec 26, 2007

Yet Another Unpleasant Jerk

I'd like to thank John W. Locust for inviting me to this blog. It is a great honor. I have never been this happy ever since I told someone considering suicide that there is no God who will punish him for committing it, or even taking a few with him. I bet his life has taken a whole new direction and he is now no longer the person he was before. I also bet that he has gone on to do great things, things worthy of the front-page news even. Praise Darwin, for He works in truly mysterious ways.

I am a trained psychotherapist, with the "therapist" part debatable, just like John W. Locust. He specializes in tracing the root insecurities in Christians' need for a sky-daddy, while I specialize on helping troubled people. I am always ready to extend a helping hand to parents of disabled or missing children, owners of recently lost pets, and sick people in their throes of death, and give them the wonderful gift of atheism, telling them that there is no God who cares for them, that they are nothing but evolved slime and that as the universe approaches the heat death, nothing they do in this life ultimately matters. Unfortunately as of late a bigoted Christian overheard my counsel and I have been banned from visiting any more patients in hospitals. And yet pastors are allowed to continue spreading their bigoted, hateful propaganda to those poor sick people. What sickening discrimination. Thus I am now reduced to spreading my little nuggets of love via the Internet. And yet none of them seems to appreciate my thoughts. Go figure, I was just telling them the truth. See, that's what those Christians want; they want to suppress the truth. Don't they always say "the truth will set you free"? Such hypocrites.

Again, I once again thank Mr. Locust for letting me join this blog. Now if you'll excuse me I have a funeral to attend. It takes a lot of time and hard work to impersonate a pastor so that I may spread my love, and it's painful to get thrown out of the building by the security, but it's all worth it for the cause of atheism.

In Darwin,
Joe E. Drollman

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pe-eww! It stinks to high heaven with all the jerks in this blog.

j/p...

Heaven doesn't exist.