Aug 6, 2008

Farrell Till Diagnosed with Terminal Brain Damage

Extranational News report that Farrell Till's brain collapsed according to a Canton General Hospital nurse of 30 years. Family and friends have noticed Farrell Till had been acting weird for the past few years, waking up in the middle of the night soaked in a pool of his own sweat screaming "Holding" at the top of his lungs. The past few months in particular have been especially nightmarish as Farrell Till's "Holding" phantasm appered more and more often. Despite the total and complete loss of his brain, doctors expect Mr. Till to make a full and complete recovery.

"Mr. Till's brain was merely a vestigial organ, and removing it was much like removing one's appendix" said Canton General's oldest brain surgeon, the philosopher king Richard Carrier.

"I have full confidence in Mr. Carrier's abilites" said an exhausted but cheerful Mr. Till. "Any man who puts Aristotle to shame with his interdisciplinary insights is welcome to do with my brain as he wishes".

Mr. Till will be released this Thursday. The absence of a brain is not expected to impair his work in the realms of religion, philosophy and history in any way.