Aug 6, 2008

Farrell Till Diagnosed with Terminal Brain Damage

Extranational News report that Farrell Till's brain collapsed according to a Canton General Hospital nurse of 30 years. Family and friends have noticed Farrell Till had been acting weird for the past few years, waking up in the middle of the night soaked in a pool of his own sweat screaming "Holding" at the top of his lungs. The past few months in particular have been especially nightmarish as Farrell Till's "Holding" phantasm appered more and more often. Despite the total and complete loss of his brain, doctors expect Mr. Till to make a full and complete recovery.

"Mr. Till's brain was merely a vestigial organ, and removing it was much like removing one's appendix" said Canton General's oldest brain surgeon, the philosopher king Richard Carrier.

"I have full confidence in Mr. Carrier's abilites" said an exhausted but cheerful Mr. Till. "Any man who puts Aristotle to shame with his interdisciplinary insights is welcome to do with my brain as he wishes".

Mr. Till will be released this Thursday. The absence of a brain is not expected to impair his work in the realms of religion, philosophy and history in any way.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol

Jack Asterson said...

This post is in bad taste. Till is a brilliant and loving man who he doesn't deserve to be ridiculed like this at all.

You should send him an email apologizing for your mean spirited jab.

Jebus said...

Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior said,

"Children, I have just witnessed John Stamos running on the beach in a speedo.

So it is with great regret that I must inform you that my second cumming has just exploded within my Ralph Lauren bikini briefs.

And goddamn, but it felt good!! My Son of Man cock was so hard that even Sarah Palin was beginning to look good!!!!

So, children, please continue to pray for my next cumming. Which is anticipated within the next week, assuming that Jimmy Fallon doesn't masturbate in the shower tonight.

----Jesus Christ, as told to Pat Robertson